Best Aggie Jokes Of All Time

Here are some funny Aggie Jokes that you will like.


#1 There was a group of Aggie science students that wanted to take a trip to the sun, but some UT students said that was impossible and that they would burn up along the way before they reached the sun.

The Aggies replied, “We’re going to travel at night!”

#2 Did you hear about the Aggie who won a gold medal at the Olympics?

He was so proud of the award that he decided to get it bronzed.

#3 You heard about the aggie pilot and his co-pilot that were flying across the Atlantic and discovered they were would not make it because they were running low on fuel. The aggie decided to lighten the load by jettisoning some fuel.

#4 How do you get an TEXAS A & M graduate off your porch?

Pay him for the pizza.

#5 A TEXAS A & M football player was almost killed in a tragic horseback-riding accident. He fell from the horse and was nearly trampled to death. Thank God the manager of the K-Mart came out and unplugged it.

#6 What do you get when you breed a ground hog and an TEXAS A & M football player?

Six more weeks of bad football.

#7 It was reported that a small two seater airplane crashed in a cemetery near Texas A&M campus located in College Station Tx. early this morning. So far, the Aggie fire dept. has recovered 300 bodies and they’re still digging. Further developments will be posted.

#8 Why don’t Aggies use 911 in an emergency?

Because they can’t find “eleven” on the phone dial.

#9 Did you hear about the skeleton they just found in an old building at College Station?

It was the 1938 hide and seek champion.

#10 What are the best four years of a TEXAS A & M student’s life?

Third grade.

#11 Did you hear about the skeleton they just found in an old building at College Station?

It was the 1938 hide and seek champion.

#12 Some Aggies decide to go ice fishing, so they grab their gear and get a saw for the ice. They go to the ice and start sawing a hole when the hear a resounding voice from above “There are no fish there.” So, they move over to another spot and start sawing again. Again they hear the voice “There are no fish there.” Again they moved and started sawing away. For a third time they hear the voice “There are no fish there.” In frustration they throw down their tools, look up and ask “Who is that?” To which the voice responds “This is the manager of the Houston Galleria.”

#13 An aggie engineering student was so relieved to get a summer internship he didn’t care that he would be painting highway stripes for the DOT. The first day, he painted 10 miles of stripes. The foreman was impressed. His second day on the job, the aggie only painted two miles of stripes. Since he had done so well his first day, the foreman decided to excuse his lack-luster performance. The third day, the aggie only painted one mile worth of stripes. The foreman thought this was inexcusable and asked the aggie, “What’s the deal? Your first day you did so well. The second day was not so good. Today, you did less work than I did.” The frustrated aggie replied, “I’m sorry boss, the bucket just keeps getting farther and farther away!”

#14 Why did the Aggie get fired from the M&M plant as a quality control inspector?

He kept throwing out all the W&W’s!

#15 A lucky Aggie won the Texas Lottery. When he went to collect his money they told him he wouldn’t get it in one lump sum and that it would be spread over 20 years. The Aggie erupted and said, “If that’s the case, then give me my dollar back!”

#16 A Longhorn and an Aggie are using the men’s room. The Longhorn finishes and walks toward the door. The Aggie calls over his shoulder, “At Texas A&M, they teach us to wash our hands after we go to the bathroom.” The Longhorn says, “At The University of Texas, they teach us not to go to the bathroom on our hands.”

#17 A fifteen year old girl and her mother are having a talk. The girl asks her mother, Mom, can you get pregnant from anal sex? Her mothers reply was, Yes you can. Where do you think Aggies come from?

#18 An Aggie is walking down the street and a hooker approaches him. She says, “How about a blow job for 20 bucks?”

The man replies, “No way! My wife does it for 10.”

#19 While an Aggie was filling out a job application he noticed that the employer wanted the full name of the college he was attending. He tried and tried but couldn’t spell it out completely. After crossing out mistakes 5 times, he wrote, “Aw hell… I’m an Aggie.”

#20 An Aggie met a girl and after a whirlwind romance, they were married. The day after their wedding, the Aggie went to play golf. He told his wife that he hoped she didn’t mind him coming home late; he was a golfer and he liked to play until dark. The wife replied that she was a hooker and she would be home late also.

So these were some of the best Aggie Jokes. Do bookmark the page as I will update it with more funny jokes.

You may also like...

2 Responses

  1. James Eisner says:

    I guess the fact that #9 and #11 are the same is just par for the course in the Aggie world?!

  2. John says:

    An Aggie and a Greek girl got married, and eventually had a kid. They wanted to name their son something that would reflect both of their heritages. The name they settled on: Zorba the dumbass.

    Q: Why don’t the Aggies like to play the Red Raiders in football?
    A: Because they have TT on their helmets.

    An Aggie and his Longhorn cousin were driving through Texas.
    The Aggie had gotten tired of all the Aggie jokes, so he put one of his cousin’s UT shirts on.
    Somewhere in the hill country, they came across a road that was blocked by sheep.
    The Aggie got out of the car and started talking to the farmer.
    He said to the farmer “if I can tell you exactly how many sheep you have here within three seconds, can I have one of them?“.
    The farmer said “sure…but you’ll never get it”.
    About two seconds later, the Aggie said “347”. The Farmer’s jaw dropped, and he said “OK… Take one. I’m not even gonna ask how you did that”.
    The Aggie grabbed one and put it in the back of the car. The farmer looked at him and said “UT, huh? If I can tell you what college you really went to, will you give me my dog back?“

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *